My first blog post was about me wanting a blog, and writing everyday (for a year or longer) so that I can acheive one. But another reason I wrote in my blog everyday,was that I started getting scared that I'll grow up and forget everything I did as a kid.
What my sisters said, what I used to like, who I used to like. I started feeling nervous, like no one would remember me. Time was passing, but I couldn't recored every little thing. I felt like when I grew up and out of the house I'll never be a kid or living with my parents (well, I hope I won't be living with my parents, but they can live with me if you know what I mean) again. I started thinking about the stuff I'll never get to do. And got to thinking "my life is almost over!". Which is silly 'cause I'm really young. I don't know what my deal was or is. When someone dies you might think "I never got to show them this song I learned" or " I drew this awesome picture, so and so will never get to see it" That's how I started thinking too.
I believe it started with this bullying book I read a few months ago. A character was killed. I didn't expect it.
I was like "somebody I know could die any day!". At any time. A car wreck, robbed maybe, shot, ran over, sickness! "Any thing, it can happen to you." Would run through my head all day long. I had to remind myself they are with you now! Nothing is going to happen! Everything is a-okay. "One day they will die, worry about it when they're gone! Not now!" And it would work sometimes.
I finally snapped out of it. Thank God. I really don't know what was wrong with me. This is actually the first time I wrote it out like.
Wrote: June 19, 2012
Yea lol girl u were thinking too much, and that's ok I used to do that too until someone told me to think a lot about living. It works for me.
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